Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Reverse

I usually  write content and then think of a title.  But today for the first time, I did the "Reverse"...!!
       
On one of those busy regular weekday noon... !!   I felt like going back to the weekend...
and I thought for a second.. How cool it would be if we can reverse..

Just as the ‘Ctrl+Z’ on the keyboard?

How handy it becomes during those times, when expecting something is precise and giving it a try and immediately finding it is imprecise.
Or thinking some format is nice and straight away feeling it’s nasty.
Or maybe, Engineers out there like me, we use it to suspend the most recent process . (yes I 'Hate' LINUX  but I’m not a Geek :D :D )
Anyways……

The most popular, the moment we say ‘Ctrl+Z’ it’s to ‘undo’ its to 'reverse'.
Most of us might have read this quote some or the other day liked & shared it on FB or Forwarded on watsapp

“Life doesn’t come with an undo option”
And the moment we read it, we think of some junk we did in the past and how we couldn’t handle that  and relating that to the truth in the statement ,We think “ If at all, I had a chance to undo, I would be happier” Instantly, Realizing the reality we keep quiet.  Even now…  J
Let’s get little crazy :D

 Imagine One fine day Morning You woke up thinking “ Ahh.!! I would have got up a 10 minutes before” and you turn around,  God was standing next to you with a smile and tells you,  “Oh My Dear ______, Today  I give you the power to undo one thing in Life”. [Dash is to fill in your name, please stress while reading “Dear” & “Power” J]
what would you do ???
Will you ‘undo’ the 10 minutes delay.. ?
Nope….

 You Immediately start the hardest task in the world... 

Obviously, " Thinking.. "
Traversing through some hundreds of random situations you went through and index to few.  Say, a ten of them as being truly valuable and worth undoing… next moment your consciousness alerts you mind..  “ Idiot, Pick One” the instant  you  hear that you are even more confused . you start thinking , Which of these things had done the maximum negative impact to me??
Hey…
Can I suggest you something ?

'Every Thing'  you are thinking has all potential reasons to be hardcore Negative...
Reversing A Negative will be A Negative..
C'mon, Reverse a  " - "[minus] sign.. it is a "-"[minus] again...! :) 

there is a magic behind those minus's.... 
it is that " blank line "
The blank line it created is for you..
And it is waiting to get perpendicularly intersected by "your Belief in your self"  

Just like ' + ' this....

So, Is there anything remaining on your list to reverse ?

Regards
Anu

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Vault of Heaven

10 years ago , During the summer season

I was expecting to meet you , finally to see you , hold u in my arms and to press you to my heart.
    
But You were in ICU with in a incubator and doctors said they need 72 hours of observation and I was not allowed to see you

A very disappointing day in my life I  walked to Daddy and asked him, why cant they just bring you near the glass of the ICU and I see you through it ? He told me, you were given oxygen and monitored every minute and they cant bring you like that and I was so worried and roaming all around the corridor , I found Lord Jesus , went on light up a candle and closed my eyes thinking about you. how you might be  inside all alone without any of us..  what if you are hungry , Do you even know that i'm waiting for you outside ? How your eyes are how your lips are ? how cute you must be looking ? Oh God!!  when will I get to see you ?

And Dad assured me that you are doing fine inside ICU and took me to mom. mom was not so pleasant.

After 72 hours , I came again with lot more excitement,  at first I met a distant relative of us  who said you are so cute. I felt a sharp intimate feeling that shivered me in that moment.

Then comes the doctor who checked on you, and tells us you are doing great .
And there I was ,  finally entered the room where you were waiting for me . 
I finally met you, you were soft like a fur ball dressed in pink, your eyes were so delicate that I felt It might hurt if you ever opened them, mouth so sensitive and blue I felt when am I gone hear you talk ? ,Your nose ah..! Its just like mine.. !  there was a tiny dimple on your chin I couldn't resist my self, I touched you. 

 I found A needle, A IV canal , It was sucking your blood..!!  and your arm was heavily plastered to a thick cardboard piece so that you don't move your hand I cursed doctors for doing that to you.  Your skin has  pealed on your finger tips  and your feet so pink. 

Looking at me staring at you for a long time , Mom called me back and asked me to tell her how you looked like ?? Overjoyed I said, "You are very very very Adorable"  and how can I forget her smile. The best smile in the whole world. 

Now, you were given to me upon so many requests and recommendations . you are laid on my laps and you look at me and smile..
The Ecstasy  you brought me is the Sky !  


Yes, You are my Gagan !!    
    

-Anu

Friday, July 4, 2014

The Balloons Story






Saturday 28 June , 6’00 PM

Ah !! That was an awesome evening,  Sky was  elegantly painted with shades of blue and orange .
I was walking down the road to home.

  There were people everywhere , first comes McD  there was a huge group of students , appeared  like , having there last day or some get together and waiting for more friends to join, next there was a tea shop,  people were busy discussing about BMTC ‘s decision of 4 way lane at kanakapura road ,Next was a very interesting board , “Mega Discount at Mega Mart, Grand Opening Of  Mega Mart 30% flat discount on all apparels ” ,  followed by  golgappa stalls ow!! A Girl was teaching her guy how to eat a golgappa , I wanted to go and say , congratulations to you  madam, you got the perrrfect guy …,  next there were Fruit stalls  few old ladies bargaining , you have to stand beside a old lady to learn how to bargain,  next comes accessory stalls earrings , bangles, clips all the glittery stuff while women  fighting to make a way into the shop, men were fighting outside with mosquitoes  and  how can I miss,  Kurta stalls J  with all these hustle bustle there were people waiting for the bus also.

….

6’10 PM

The crowd  around started dispersing just like in a movie when villain enters the scene.

Can you guess who is he ?

You are right,

He is Mr.Rain.

I could  hear Thunderstoms  from the sky and  I could see  big droplets of water on the footpath.
I dint wanted to get drenched , I was searching for a place to go…

Aww..!! wait a minute..

Some time ago,  What did I just read… ??

“Mega Discount at Mega Mart, Grand Opening Of  Mega Mart 30% flat discount on all apparels”

That’s like, If you are buying a 700/- Top , you get 200/- discount.  Woaw… !! Isn’t it awesome…
Yep, without wasting a single moment , I walked back to the shop.

There was  decent crowd and people were in their own world.
and  they played  Enrique Iglesias‘s  “Love to see you cry … “ , what a satire , when so many attires ,  No way I can cry… J

I went inside  and dint knew what exactly to look for , to be frank Nothing caught my eye …  but the music behind was pleasing,  thought let me do window shopping  any ways I cant go home now.
So, standing in between the rows of clothes, I wondered why in every shopping mall or mart , The  Ladies section  opens to the entrance ? Gender discrimination L.

And it was 6’15 PM, Mr.Rain started showing his extreme villain-ism  ,  I felt happy for my decision of coming to shop.

I started checking out clothes from one corner ,It went on like this… J  If I like The color I dint like the pattern, if I like the pattern I dint like the Design ..if I like both,  prints were bad.. If all are good , I dint like The price :p . So I finished , ethnic section dint like anything , half an hour is already gone.

Mr.Rain  has no signs of calming down.

 So, Decided to check out western section which is in the first floor.
I had to take stairs, while I was walking towards the staircase..


I saw this little girl , around 3 to 4 years,  wearing a white  - blue polka dotted frock ,.. running behind her mum holding 4 baloons which are tied up together, Three white ones at the base and one red one at the top.  For some reason I wanted to recall what is this structure called,  I have seen it somewhere, did I came across about this particular shape anywhere,  thinking  about it,  I went up the stairs and started starring at the clothing , I was going back into years of my life to recall what this shape is called .  Suddenly I was disturbed,  a male voice from behind  asking me “Can,  I help you mam.. ? , We have only two colors in this.”   as though I was in a trance I stared at him , nodding head in opposite directions as to say, No. He left to attend another customer,  But, the “only two “ phrase kept me think more.
There were some flashes in mind, But they weren’t clear, I struggled hard to concentrate, but couldn’t.
Needed some private space, just picked something and went into the trial room locked and in the absence of the whole world and just myself.




My mind went to  the times when all I studied was Physics , Chemistry , Maths & Biology and nothing else . It was the time , I had tuitions during Pre University . In small towns like mine, We will have tuitions taken in teachers house and  we won’t have tuitions on any Important day of teacher’s  life. Like, his Birthday, his anniversary or his kid’s birthday he was more like a friend, we used to watch TV & have snacks with him, he used to tell about his life , how mischievous he was at college?  how he came into teaching ?  how he got married? how much he likes singing ? And  suggest us not to study hard but to inter relate things and grow in life.  And  to marry at the right age and invite him so that he will sing for us in the wedding  :D  ha ha ha..

Ow my Gosh!! Beautiful moments..

   He used to teach both Chemistry and Biology. Yep, only teacher for both subjects.  He always had his own ways of teaching , whenever we thought he is teaching Chemistry he used to somewhere inter - relate it to biology explain it in the other way round and show us there is a whole different way of learning.
On that day , I went to tuitions as usual. To my surprise, We had no class :D .  It was his daughter’s birthday and he had decorated his home.  There were balloons, color tapes and some other decoratives at home I saw him being busy giving instructions to other students about decorations at that time. He thought us covalent bonds using the balloons  ,   The Only two Molecules with some structure resembled the balloons which I just saw were Ammonia & Methane ,  the shape is tetrahedral.  I was overwhelmed wanted to thank him for the life long learning he had given me.

7’10 PM, Mr Rain was going on and on.

They played  Daddy Yankee’s  “ Gasolina ... .“  For the inner happiness I had, the song  got a grand mood. I won the whole world today.
Now , I wanted to leave that place . Mr.Rain has become more violent . No signs of him reducing. Even then I want to go home.

I was rushing towards the crowded door,

     The Little Girl whom, I saw a while ago is found complaining her mom about the balloons .
She was saying, “Mummy, I want his balloons ” showing to the other kid to the corner of the shop  and started making a face of crying . With all the uncertainty I started searching the boy with different set of balloons in the shop, I was pitying the poor baby. Nobody was found with any different balloons.
And now I  was Worried for myself  , I was  terrorised , asked myself. Did I get  eye site?? No Not again.
 I couldn’t move  out of that place , eager to know what will happen ,  at the same time I  cant just stand and stare at them for long..  so I went back to the ethnic wear section  just like I was searching something , I was watching mom & daughter from a little distance.

 Mom hugged  her kid close to the bosom and started convincing saying, he is having the same balloons ,they are not different both are same.  Now kid is not ready to believe and started crying. Mom got little angry at the foolishness of the kid ,  pulled the kid by her hand and moved quickly towards a boy of the same age, who was playing with the balloons. I also rushed behind her.  Without getting doubts as I’m observing them. Stood behind the mom as in what is she gona do now.. is she gona snactch another kid’s balloons ? NO…. 
I was keenly waiting for what is gona happen next?  Looking through row of kurthas behind the scene.. abruptly , A sales women comes and asks, “Can I help you, mam? “  there was a kurtha in my hand I just gave it to her and told. Can I please get ‘M’ . And  the lady disappeared in search of it. Now I got the time , I was acting as if I’m waiting for the kurtha  but, watching carefully what will happen to the balloons, Kids & moms...

Now, Mom pleased the other kid to lend his balloons for a while and he refused. She pleased him again
 Cute one, he gave his balloons with lots of doubt .

 Now Mom turned the balloons a 90 degrees so that the red one came up , and all white ones to the base, it looked exactly like the one her daughter is holding. The kid curiously took the balloons from her mom and started checking them, Yes!! she was smiling, Oh! So pretty. J

Such a bliss , in that small incident.  I was cheering it inside.

7’20 PM, Mr.Rain was calming down.

And my phone rings, it was a friend. Asking me where I’m ?  I said.” Shopping… “  I got a reply, “ You are senseless..  “ ,  “how many times you go on shopping ?” [ that was because, It was the second shopping session on the same day, I was in commercial street  the whole morning ],  “Do you think you are queen Victoria ?? you are just a Software Engineer..”  “ Go home” and I dint get angry , Instead I started laughing my friend hung-up.

     I realized  we all are like the kids. Everyone has same balloons in the hand. Tied up with the same co-valence. God has not created difference in anything he gave us . It’s just we think someone else is better than us, because we don’t know how to turn our bright side up and cry that someone has got something better than we do. after all, we are all under the same sky, dreaming the same dream. may be in a different way.

I was awakened , when the sales women came up with the ‘M’ . I was not sure whether I'm buying it. But I had to buy it.  I said," Thank you so much" to her, with all the smiles  and she was extremely happy..  ,as it was her first day at work. . !

7’30 PM, Mr.Rain Left.

I proceeded to the billing section, and the women next to me said..

It’s a nice kurta
 I asked her ,

Really ?

    






Wednesday, June 25, 2014

A 4 year Montessori girl.




Monday , April 7 , 2014

Worried Over the Unsuccessful Interview and a Friend's Breakup.
Today, I went to the nearby Joggers Park, to relax after work..  
Beyond the walking track, there is some play area for kids with swings & slides..
kids were playing.
There were so many things happening,
A Kiddo who was scared to slide.. there was a 2 year Old searching Happiness in Sand.. !!
A little boy who wants his mom to be around him all the time..! He wants to be protective :p
A 4 year Montessori girl swinging too high & fast...! She caught my eye..
Immediately , I went and sat on the swing next to her and started moving to & fro slowly
I asked her "Aren't you scared ? " , She replied "I Love Swinging & I cant Slow down... "
I continued, "Aren't you gona fall down ? " , she said.. " I Don't , I have Nothing other than this String in my hand..!!"

I was mesmerized,  I asked myself..
such a pragmatic reply.. Nothing Other than the swing mattered her..

When You Like the Life.. Why will you Slow down.. ?
When You Have Grip on Life Why Will you Fall Down..??
Apply it your Life.. You will get answers too..
Life is The Swing , You are sitting in it.. !!
Life Begins as Swing Swings..
once Forward, once Backward
And Vision , Insight or Thoughts gives you the Momentum... 

The Momentum varies from person to person , 
More Higher the level of your vision , You Swing  more forward and reach heights.
Eventually, You  will swing  backwards.
That is the phase I was in.

Nobody tells you how your life changes, It Changes and  that is Nature's Rule..
So far had been in heights , some downs are there now.. Pretty obvious..  :)
Your Life Doesn't go off the Swing's Track..!!
 unless you leave the string and create Vibrations..!! You are not put down 
  
And , I'm Not Letting Myself  down. 

Then, I walked back home
hoping for another opportunity :) 

On That Sleepless Night..


 I had A New Book in my hand , A best seller Novel from A Most Popular Author , it was 9'30PM & No one was at home.. no noises , disturbances..! I enjoyed Imbibing the characters & scenes deeper & deeper
after sometime I felt hungry I checked out, it was, 11'30PM...aw!!  I went searched kitchen..! ya found 2 carrots, finished my dinner...! went back to my book..
Sometime around 1'30AM..
I felt strange, I thought this Book is Junk & I'm wasting my sleep over it..  :p

so, obviously I switched off lights & closed off my eyes thinking let me sleep but, I couldn't sleep
I went back to Nov 2013, asked myself , how my life was ?
All I could see was, My Mom admitted in hospital , My lost phone , A Mail Said " Dec 31st will be your last date, we will plan a send off lunch for you" , My Birthday , My Parents 25th Anniversary, Tightened clothes, Bad Score in CAT, A new phone, Yoga classes, Changing Diet, Rejection from Nokia, Samsung , Leaving Coffee , Loosing 6 kilos of weight, practicing Pranayama, Getting 3 allocation extended mails, Taking Mom for shopping, Getting into Nokia , Resigning at TechM .....!!

I realised, behind every happy & sad situation there are 4 things conspired.
  • Meaning
  • Relevance
  • Attention
  • Memory
Can either Plot you to death or Push you to Life.
When My manager said, so professionally "I'm not extending you, Dec 31st is your last date"
I was petrified, and tears rolled down.. cos, a  day before my mom was admitted in hospital due to severe abdominal pain & I had lost my phone., It was my 3months savings...!!
I was dejected due to the fact of moving out by 31st Dec , Hopeless for the fact that , for the position in office, which dint afford to stay with my mom,  And a loss of Phone.

I wanted to take revenge for the Bitterness in Life.. 

It either Meant, Anu you failed or Anu you are defeated.. ?

Failing would be a very easy task.. cos you dont have to do anything
where as Word "defeat" carried a weightage, that Nerve for struggling & Bearing Pain.
I chose , Let me get defeated & Loose it rather than Failing.. !!
I could feel the heat of being failed , I felt I'm gona loose something Important ?  did u see that, important meant Relevant to your life..! you dont give importance to anything or anyone unless they are relevant / purposeful.
Then I was guessing,estimating, planning & working for it. this actions are possible when a person is Attentive..
I started taking on, Retrospecting the Work left out Making strategies, on how to maximize efficiency..  Retention is an act of Pure Memory.
The same thing is repeated in all above cases,
be it Bad score in CAT... that was for not being attentive.. going wrong in speculating.. Under stress not utilizing memory..
Or take up cracking Nokia Interview... It was for being attentive & thinking Relative, acting meaningfully..  using memory...
Meaning will always your best or worst... when things go right , there is obviously positive meaning, when they go wrong , one must find a positive Meaning :) :)
I keep Winning, until I find Best Meanings in Worst Scenarios..!!

Actually this is not anything new to learn & analyze..
I had done it long ago very long ago..
those times when this world was new to me... I hardly knew anything about it
All Sounds I heard were nice , later got to know they carried a meaning...!!
Eager to know what it meant, I was attentive.., when I got the meaning I recorded it in my Memory.
Next time when ever I found I related...Found out the purpose of saying It..!! Recalling with the same Memory..
That's How I first started Talking.. :) 
Now I can write Also :) :)